Something that really spokes my wheel these days is the fact that I am pretty
much isolated. Last time I was indoors this much, I developed a nice social
phobia that I still have problems with. At least, this time I am doing something
that is somewhat creative at least. I keep on making designs for blogs and sites
and of course, I write here. But really, there is something missing in my life
right now and I cant really find a way to compensate for that void that simply
sucks time out of my life.
I know this sounds a bit depressing and to be honest, it is. But there really
isnt much I can do about it but to continue to search for another job.
The voice I used to have, probably not the most beautiful there ever was,
but at least it was strong and I was articulated and could make myself be
heard pretty much everywhere. Now, I have to speak low, so low
that most of my friends that hears me now asks me if ive gone timid
in the beginning of my dotage.
Arrrgh. It is really hard to keep the spirit up when you know that
The majority of your body is fit for work, but one single detail tears
it all down and makes you bound for home. To be honest I can probably
count up all the items on my computer table by heart right now, thats
how much I sit here.
The scary part is that I have caught myself sitting and just staring on
a facebook window and doing nothing else, just watching, as if somehow
facebook will animate itself and do funny things if I just look intently enough.
I really need to find a job before they find me sitting here giggling
with insanity and have to haul me away.
Oh well. Ill try to hang on for another