Parental feelings

Sometimes you tire of your offspring, of course, who doesn’t loose patiencechildabuse
at one point or another, but you do your best not to take it
out on the child. At least, thats what anyone that has a
clear cut conscience does. You see, just because one’s life is
hard, stressful and filled with adversity, there is no real
excuse to take things out on a poor, innocent child, no
matter what mess that child has managed to make, or
whatever that child did break.

When you physically hurt a child, is it a need for control, an
outlet for helplessness, or just plain mental problems? I
really can’t make a call on that because I am not a shrink like
Dr. Phil, neither am I a therapist in any other way that matters,
but I can, and do let people know that by being a parent I
can vouch for my own feelings in the matter at hand.

Every single day, there are children being physically abused
by adults and that to me, is unacceptable. If you see
someone  violently shaking or hitting a child, even if it is an
open handed slap, would you react, and more importantly,
HOW would you  react? I am not gonna sit here and tell you
that I would do this and that or else.. but I would do
SOMETHING at least. It is an obligation I have towards every
child out there, an obligation that every single sensible adult is bound to.

There is no excuse for inaction. I have heard of those that just shrugged and
thought “hey, its not my call”. IT IS YOUR CALL. You are observing it.
How would you feel if that same child, later that night died from one
to many blow to the head, and you realized that if you had spoken up
for that child, that little person would be alive, albeit a bit sad to be
separated from the parent because, lets face it, abused children still
loves their parents on one or another level, and leaving that parent
may in the beginning feel like a betrayal, but in the end, maybe you can
make the child understand that it is not his or her fault that their
parent is hitting them.

Now, just to share something. My girlfriend showed me this earlier tonight
and even though I am supposed to be one of the stereotype manly men
(I know I most definetly aren’t one) I got a little wet in the corner of my eye.

The song is named “Concrete angel” and the lyrics are below.

She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she’s holding back
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace, oh

The teacher wonders but she doesn’t ask
It’s hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can’t rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she’s loved concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but they turn out the light
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it will be too late

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can’t rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she’s loved concrete angel

A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can’t rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she’s loved concrete angel

Numbness of mind

The world is constantly in a state of change and we know that.
Question is, is it for the better or not?

I am sure you all remember your childhood, I certainly
remember large portions of mine, and frankly, I miss
those days, especially now that I am a parent. See,
when I was a kid around 7-10 first of all I had no
worries about child molesters and similar things and
neither did I have a home that spotted physical abuse.

But it seems that these days, all you read is that
this and that child has been kidnapped, raped, killed
in various and horrible ways. Had this always been
happening? And if so, do I really want to know about
it or would I want to stay in a bliss thinking all
is as good in the world as my childhood memories led
me to think? I could be out by myself after dark without
my parents calling the police in hysteria. Does
that make them bad parents or tolerant parents?

Yes, childabuse is a horrible thing in all its guises
and there is no excuses for it. Let me give you an
example. Right now, there is a 20 year old woman
on trial, for helping to beat her own child to death.
Why? Because her new husband didn’t think that this
little 2 year old was saying Thank you! and Please!
as often as he would like. What the hell is that about
at age 2, not all kids have developed a good speech
yet and they put a demand on the kid to behave as an
adult, and if the demand is not followed, the child
is beaten with belts, gets its head held under cold
water, and the assault doesnt even stop even tho at
one point the little girl tells her mom “I love you”
DURING the beating. How heartless can you become?

I have had my share of despair when there has been
sleepless nights and you just wanted to throw the
baby out the window, but thats just it, when those
thoughts occur, at the same time you are horrified
with yourself. How could I even think that. This
is my child that I am carrying.

Is there anything that warrants physically and mentally
scar a child just because it cant meet standards of
adults? Isn’t childhood to prepare you for adulthood
and to train your body and mind while it grows?
At least that was what I thought.

Let me change the subject slightly.
They say that todays news and the information flood numbs
human emotions. Ok, I can agree with that, but what’s to
say that it is a permanent state? I will give you a pretty
good example.

Before David came along, I could read the news without any
emotional attachment, even really serious famine, war,
natural disasters, it didnt really make any large impact
on me. I simply stated that OK, its happened, lets see
if someone can help out. I try to do my share with donations
to various purposes, such as AIDS research and Child Cancer
Fund, and so on and so forth, but nowadays something has

Since David was born it seems that the thick shell
that the news bounced upon was has cracked and
there are some pretty large gaping holes in it. Whenever
the news are about children that in one way or another
is mistreated, threatened, killed etc etc etc, my first
thought is, who would do such a thing. The second thought
is “What if it was David?” I am not a professional shrink,
nor will I state that I am one, but my theory here has
is that when you become a parent, you get more sensitive
when it comes to children, even if the child isnt yours
and you have no emotional attachmen to the child in question.

So, parenthood is a mixture of aches, bruises and smiles.
You get to see your child develop and turn into a new
individual that will learn, laugh, smile and love, while
at the same time you will have sleepless nights, high
screaming and tears shoved at you as a parent.

Like I have it right now. When I get home from work,
my little toddler comes stomping in as high a pace
as his little chubby legs can carry him, and he then
attaches himself to my legs until I try to sit down
and at wich point I have to take him up into my lap
as to not get a sonic blast at me. My goodness those
small things has big lungs and high strung larynxes.

Oh well, thats parenthood for you.