kvasi-philosophy

by zutgorak | Oct 1, 2008 | 0 comments

Time to get a little philosophical I think. Or what do you say?

Time and time again people have meditated the large mysteries in
the world, like “how do they get the toothpaste in to the tube” and
“if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn”
Well, thanks to Discovery Channel, one of those
mysteries is solved….. The smurf turns black.

Another question or rather, prejudice filled notion
has been floating around for a while aswell. How do
you tell who is gay?

Well, I think I may have deviced a pretty good test.
Now, hear me out on this one (and if you cant see
that this is irony and sarcasm, get the hell out
right away. I cant stand people with no humor.)
At work, we are a few guys and one woman in our department.
Now, this woman gives as good as she gets so she is
in no way to be pitied to be among those levels of
testosterone, but rather feel priviliged. Not to be
“working with a few excellent examples of the male
species or any other thing like that, but rather,
she has a lot of guys she can boss around because
we all want to be nice to her.

Anyhoo, out of a whim I asked her “whats inside your
handbag?” And whew .. she was like any other woman,
she was carrying a few different lipsticks, a pacifier
for the kid etc etc etc .. I mean.. it was easy over
30 different items in there.

Now, lets sidetrack a bit here. On my former blog
I had a post regarding a theory about womens handbags.
I will repeat that in brief here so you understand.

The major designer companies for handbags all gathered
together and summoned a minor demon from the netherplane
and bribed that demon with human greed to get access
to a dimensional portal. They combined that with
modern science to lock the dimensional portal to human
chromosomes. If the hand that comes into the bag
has a set with X-X the dimensional portal “reads”
the hand and the item that the hand is looking for
pops right into the hand. However, if the hand
is carrying X-Y chromosomes, the dimensional portal
opens, but shoves tons and tons of miscellania into
the hand, making it pointless to even try to find
anything in it for a male.

However, as scientists of today have discovered that some
people have extended Y chromosomes, pretty much an X with a
half lower-right leg, this might also work for certain males.
The same scientist insists that because of that half lower leg
some males turn gay and feminine. I am guessing that this
is why so many gay men actually carries a handbag and can
get the portal to work.

Now, when this woman in our team had replaced all her
items in that gaping maw that was her handbag. I asked
a male collegue to locate the silvery lipstick.

I now suspect i have a gay co worker.