Today, I took a bus ride from Västerås to Uppsala. Its about 1 and a half hour on the bus.
I got on, took a seat and started reading. From Västerås to Enköping, nothing happened that
was worthy of note, but in a place named “Örsundsbro” the passenger with no brain entered.
Now, I am no small person by any stretch of imagination. I weight quite a lot more then what is
considered ideal and I wont make any of those excuses, but the woman who climed aboard
the bus literally could fill two seats by herself by putting her buttcrack in the middle of the seats.
And here comes the kicker. I am now the second biggest person on this bus, no kidding, and she
decides, for whatever reason and straight out of the blue, to squeeze in next to me.
What the hell is that about? So, after sitting down, she asks me, quite politely if i could move my
leg a little. So, I obliged, hoping that she would get off soon. Well, she didn’t.
A few miles goes by that for me is VERY unconfortable since I am having my entire left side pressed against the
bus inner walls. Not fun, but this person, who is quite a few fries from a Happy Meal, turns her head, and asks
me if I could stop taking so much room…. WHAT THE FUCK? You are spilling over into MY SEAT and you have the
nerve to ask me to make myself smaller.
To this woman I would like to say this:
Hun, as I am VERY sure that you are aware of, you cannot alter your physical mass with your mind, even
though I am quite certain that you MAY have managed to delude yourself into thinking that you are a size zero,
your butt squeezing through the bus door SHOULD have told you different. Go sit next to some skinny person
instead of someone who is both well built AND has a bunch of extra pounds. Or better yet, use your psychic
shrinking powers on yourself until the point where you slip through the cracks of the various molecules that
builds up the bus.
Alas, I am too polite to do this, so, I just turn my head, without changing facial expression or body position, I
looked her in the eyes until she turned her head and let the matter drop.
Sometimes, looking like someone just released from a murder sentance helps.