Lets talk about sex. No, this is not some bad attempt to increase traffic its
the same as always, thoughts, ranting and input. Today, in the swedish newspaper
“Expressen” there is an article about “5 sextips for new parents”, the article is
found here: http://www.alltombarn.se/foraldraliv/5-sextips-for-nyblivna-foraldrar-1.16456
Now, I am a fairly new parent, and really, lets face it, wich person, male OR female is not
interrested in sex? I know there are asexual people out there, but lets face it, they are
a vast minority. So, I read the article, or rather, watched the slideshow. And it strikes me
All of those things are tips, but the tips in general are in the category of “how the man
should behave to make the woman feel better” and it galls me to no end.
Just aswell as a woman doesnt stop being a sexual being when concieving a child,
neither does the male. The male has to accept that the woman is now mother first
and lover second. No harm in that and I think that most men accept that but what
happens to the male sexuality? Is it taken as “understood” that the male sexuality
receedes(sic?) when he becomes a dad? I know sure as hell that mine didnt. Neither
did it increase. It was at the same level.
The female body goes through an immense amount of changes just after birthing
and the anatomy and physiology changes. It’s natural and as a man I have to accept
that and well, take matters into my own hand so to speak.
But seriously. Why is the male forgotten as a sexual being? Nowhere do you find
articles made FOR women about male sexuality in parenting, nor the desires a
man might have, unless you look into magazines of a more questionable nature.
Am I, in the part of the sexual part, supposed to simply cosset the woman, make
sure that she feels great, but forget my own needs?
Of course there are some men who more or less demands things from their spouse
but I dont want to be one of those. A no means no, and lust is a delicate thing to
work with, as is passion.
From the base of a lot of similar articles ive surmised that the consensus these days
are that after birth, a man is to become sort of a body servant. We are to pamper
the woman, make her feel good, be romantic and then MAYBE, just MAYBE, if she
feels like it, then I might be able to let loose my own libido. It just doesnt feel right.
I dont expect the smoking hot sex, neither do I believe in a single sided sexual
relation, but for the love of pete, when “journalists” writes about sextips, please
try to remember that you are usually 2 people in the relationship, and usually
what makes a man get aroused is very often something different then what gets
a woman going. Is that too much to ask?