Before I start, let me tell you that this post will undergo a nice little edit
after I have visited the photoalbum and brought my scanner home from those
that have borrowed it from me.
You know, I am not a sentimental guy, at least not as much as I could be, and
I think that part of that is that I dont like to live in my past. Pherhaps that
could be because my past hasn’t been the very best. But, I have somethings
that I dwell on from time to time. Obviously the birth of my son is one
of them, the other is how I met my girlfriend. One that isn’t such a profound
event, but yet, stays in my mind, is how my body has changed during the years.
I have passed 30. I am 32 to be exact, and in todays society, that is not considered
old in any way, there are still people that has 10 more years then me, that still
has that healthy, toned body and yet, here I am, carrying around a lot more luggage
then is considered healthy. Let me fill you in a little bit.
I used to be a gym-o-holic. A bad one at that because it also affected my view
of the world. I was obnoxious, loud and pretty much appearing to be narcissistic.
To a degree I guess I was. To pretty much everyone I had that attitude that simply
walked on peoples nerves and annoyed them. However, the cause for that behaviour
was as at least some people have guessed, insecurity and low self esteem. I still
suffer from that low self esteem and I do occasionally revert to being obnoxious
but everytime I do, I get a little bit sad inside aswell, because I dont want to
be the loudmouth who everyone see. I want to have the security to just be me.
Anyway, I am wandering off the subject here, lets get back on track.
Seeing that I actually ditched school and cut classes to work out I had a nice
toned body with pherhaps a trifle too much muscle to look good, but still
I didn’t feel safe to blatantly display it as some people do.
I met my girlfriend, we hooked up and well, even though I worked out some
it became more and more infrequent to suddenly come to a grinding stop.
However, I did the mistake of not adjusting my intake to the lessened physical
exertion, so naturally, I gained weight. A lot of weight. I was up at 125 kilos at
the most, now, I am stable in my weight, albeit not that much, but still too much
for comfort, and frankly, my body has forgotten how to exersice. Another factor
is that I am eating entirely wrong. I used to eat 3 square meals a day, with 2 snacks.
Never mind what those meals contained, because at that time, it didn’t much matter.
I could burn it away in a multitude of ways.
Now, I eat 1 meal a day and drink way too much coffee and the occasional soda.
See the problem?
I do. Pretty much right away. I can promise to adjust that, I can promise to start to
exersice again. But you know what? That wont do any good. Because, as is common
when one already is overweight, I can find tons of bad excuses not to. Want a little
list of bad excuses that works for pretty much everything? Ok, here we go
- I dont have any time to do X because my day is so filled with other things.
- I will start tomorrow, next week, next month (insert own timeframe)
- Blaming others.
Now, when it comes to the first, apply that to food. Now, an ovengrilled chicken,
with cottage cheese, some cucumber, paprika and other veggies DONT TAKE TIME.
Sure the chicken needs time in the oven, but it doesn’t go faster because you stand there
looking at it. During the grilling, you can do whatever you please. Cottage cheese doesnt
take time, its just to open the damn box.
Apply it to smoking. Well, smoking actually TAKES time, so quitting that habit
actually just gives you more time. Voila!
The second on the list is just an ecxuse to push it forward and can be used with
whatever event lies nearest. Listen to this: I will start to eat healthy after the
weekend because we are going to a dinner at X place and theres bound to be
a lot of food that I cant eat while on a diet.
Then the next weekend comes and you say, I will start monday, just let me
eat junkfood this weekend. A convicted last meal if you will.
WHO ARE YOU KIDDING. If you are using this excuse, its most likely
because as me, you are unsure that you have the motivation to do start
and are afraid of failure.
The third reason. That is pretty much just projecting your feelings and
causes unto others so you wont feel as guilty.
Now, I know who is to blame for my overweight. Its not you, my parents, my girlfriend
or anything else. It’s me. Me, myself and I and noone else. But what to do about this?
Well, what I should have done ages ago. Man up, take the blame for my failure to
keep fit and ask someone who knows about these things to help me with planning
and to help with motivation.
I am telling you this as one overweight person to another. We can do this. Dont
come up with sad excuses, lets team up, keep eachother motivated, help eachother
to loose that extra tire we have around our midsections.
And to you skinny, well-trained toned individuals. If you want to help an
overweight person, go right ahead. The person who is overweight is most
likely so for a reason. One is insecurity, one is overeating. But let me tell
you something, mr/ms Toned. The gratitude you would get from helping
an overweight person, without scorn or pity, will be neverending and you
will get a true, loyal friend in the process. Wouldn’t that be worth some
of your time?
Lets get to work.
At least in small doses, because without
frustration, many things never would
be invited. Lets take a small thing as
the potato-peeler. Do you think that
someone thought “Hey, I can make
money on how people peels a potato
or, do you think that it was more in
the likes of: “I am soooo damn tired
of peeling my potatoes with a knife.
I cut myself, my hands are all aching
and the next time my wife wants
potatoes its all going to be the same.
” I am pretty sure it was the latter.
I am pretty sure that most inventions
that are created are really a
combination of frustration, lazyness
and genious. Some things might not
be a sign of a genious, but hey, if they
work, dont rack down on it.
Anyways, seeing as frustration is a key to a lot of inventions, I might be
on the verge of solving the problem of world peace or something, at
least if the level of frustration is a measurement on how big a breakthrough
an invention will be. Everyone of course have different tolerance levels
to stress and the likes, but frankly, I think I am getting close to my
breaking point. Oh well … I will just do what I usually do.
Ride it out, pick up the shattered pieces and start to build again.
Ya all have fun in the sun now ya hear.
Well, you have seen that I make wordpress themes from time to
time, Well, check the menu on top, and you will see that I made
a page collecting them so you dont have to browse every single
Hope you enjoy
It is a phenomenon that has shown its head more and more these days.
Musicians are making covers of this and that, and well, some might be
an utter waste of time, but some are actually worth listening to, and in
some aspects might even be better then the original. My taste in music
is very broad and hence, I come across covers pretty much everywhere.
One favourite song of mine, is Disturbed’s “Land of confusion:
What many dont know, or maybe dont care about is that the song is actually
a cover of an old Genesis song. Yeah, Genesis, you know, those who had that
famous drummer named “Phil Collins”. Here’s the original:
Not a bad cover by David Draiman and his band ey?
A cover is one thing, but making a bad cover is another story really.
There are of course, hilarious covers out there aswell, and I will get to
those later on in this little show of mine.
Some people, like “the king of rock” Elvis Presley make a living on covers
and some release covers just to boost a low or waning career. Whatever the
reasons are for an artist to make a cover, the only thing I ask for is
that you do something that pay homage to the original artist, not to
slice and dice the song in a futile effort to make the song seem like it
Depending on your voice, you may, or may not be suited to do certain
covers, here you have what I personally think is an abyssmal choice of
I seriously hope I dont have to tell you wich band made the original.
Dear Avril, you have a good voice, much better then I have, I will freely
admit this, but couldn’t you have picked a better song to cover out of
Metallica’s wide arsenal of musical rockets? How about Sanitarium (Welcome home)?
Then of course, there are those that just likes to twist your arm and force you
to start listening to something that you never would have listened to in the
first place. This is a song that pretty much everyone can sing along to, but
I am pretty sure that there isn’t that many that openly admit to liking it.
And I can honestly say, I really dont like the Bee-Gees, but hey, they made
money didn’t they?
However, when you stumble across an old hero making a cover of THAT,
it either brings a laughter out of you, or a tear. For me, its a mixture of both.
Do you have more examples? Feel free to mail me or leave a comment
and I will take a look.
Oh, I dont need Hallelujah by Mr. Cohen, because I know that both Jeff Buckley and
Rufus Wainwright does beautiful covers of it.
You probably have noticed that I read and think a lot about
filesharing, p2p and pretty much everything in that corner, so
I am guessing that there is no big surprise that I dig up news
about it in various places. I might not be the first to write
about it, but I dont need to be, I feel that it is better to have
a broad front and reach many, then to contend to be first
and maybe not get the whole story.
Anyhoo, the P2P developer Vuze, who used to program
and maintain azureus, a popular bittorrent client, recently
ordered a survey from Frank Magid Associated, and
the result, at least to me, wasn’t that surprising.
Frank Magid Associated conducted the survey, looking at
693 American Vuze users and 606 American Internet users,
all aged 18-44, wich is usually the “core age” for filesharing.
It appears that the people who are engaged in filesharing
and downloading movies are spending a lot more money
on content then those who doesn’t.
It appears that the users of Vuze (the decendant of azureus)
have no problem purchasing DVDs, they actually buy up to
16 a year, whereas the other group lands on average 13 per
From Frank Magid Associated
Vuze CEO Gilles BianRosa about the results. His take is that P2P users are
“Hollywood’s best customers, and that’s clearly something that we don’t think that Hollywood is very aware of.”
The survey shows that even though they can obtain what they want for free,
the filesharers doesn’t really mind spending money, but a theory regarding
why people dont buy more movies might be the fact that a purchased movie
these days are DRM protected and priced a little too high.
Read the article about this on ARS technica
Something that really spokes my wheel these days is the fact that I am pretty
much isolated. Last time I was indoors this much, I developed a nice social
phobia that I still have problems with. At least, this time I am doing something
that is somewhat creative at least. I keep on making designs for blogs and sites
and of course, I write here. But really, there is something missing in my life
right now and I cant really find a way to compensate for that void that simply
sucks time out of my life.
I know this sounds a bit depressing and to be honest, it is. But there really
isnt much I can do about it but to continue to search for another job.
The voice I used to have, probably not the most beautiful there ever was,
but at least it was strong and I was articulated and could make myself be
heard pretty much everywhere. Now, I have to speak low, so low
that most of my friends that hears me now asks me if ive gone timid
in the beginning of my dotage.
Arrrgh. It is really hard to keep the spirit up when you know that
The majority of your body is fit for work, but one single detail tears
it all down and makes you bound for home. To be honest I can probably
count up all the items on my computer table by heart right now, thats
how much I sit here.
The scary part is that I have caught myself sitting and just staring on
a facebook window and doing nothing else, just watching, as if somehow
facebook will animate itself and do funny things if I just look intently enough.
I really need to find a job before they find me sitting here giggling
with insanity and have to haul me away.
They are coming to take me away HA HA, HE HE.
Oh well. Ill try to hang on for another